Friday, January 29, 2010
It has been a while!
So I usually have these long posts, but this time, I just wanted to share a couple of pictures from our recent trip to Florida. A few years ago, my family moved from NYC to Florida (like all good New Yorker's do!), so over our long weekend we went for a visit. It was the first time the girls met my step mom and sister, the first time they had gone to the beach and their first little "family vacation"! Here are some good pics from our trip!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Some photos
So here are some pics of the girls first Christmas! We were thankful to have their abuelitos here to celebrate with us! The fun started on Christmas Eve when we opened our stockings, and continued on Christmas morning with the gifts under the tree. Maya came into the room at 7:45 and shook Esteban saying, "Pick up, pick up....Christmas, come on, pick up!" She also took the liberty of waking Layla up! We made them wait a little before waking Esteban's parents up, so Maya climbed in bed with us, and watched the clock, telling me each minute that had passed (7, 4, 8 mommy, 7, 4, 9 mommy!)! It was fun to see their excitement! After all was said and done, the girls favorite gifts were their boots (fake UGZ), High School Musical 2&3(lucky us), and their guitars (they already think they are rock stars)!
It was fun to celebrate our Savior's birth, life, death and resurrection with our family! We are so thankful to God for bringing the girls into our lives, but we are even more thankful for His precious gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ!
Check out the pics from our Christmas! (and a funny pic with the girls and papi's hats!)
It was fun to celebrate our Savior's birth, life, death and resurrection with our family! We are so thankful to God for bringing the girls into our lives, but we are even more thankful for His precious gift of salvation through His Son, Jesus Christ!
Check out the pics from our Christmas! (and a funny pic with the girls and papi's hats!)
Monday, December 21, 2009
This Journey
So it has been almost 3 months since we have brought the girls home. In that time, they have been learning and growing in amazing ways. I guess I totally expected that, but it is still really cool to see it happening right in front of me!
As I think back over the last year, I have come to a couple of conclusions about our whole adoption process.....so here they are (the condensed version):
1. I need far greater faith than what I have!
No matter where you are in your faith walk with God, you need more! And to be honest, I did not realize just how much more I needed! In fact, I still need more faith each day, to trust that God can do this, that He is doing this, and that He wants to use me to do this (this being....raising these children!) I have had to pray daily for greater faith that only He can give. Faith in Him to give me more faith at times!!!! God has grown my belief in Him throughout the whole waiting process, and since we have been home, He has grown my faith as I learn to trust Him to parent these girls each day!
2. I am completely incompetent when it comes to parenting!
Here's the deal, I have a Master's degree in education (special education) to be exact....so you would think that my confidence level raising kids would be pretty high! After three months of parenting, I have come to realize that there is little within me that is equipped to do this. However, in light of that realization, I have also come to realize the greatness of my God, who can work through me to parent these girls! He loves them infinitely more than I do, and knows all that they need! I am learning to listen to Him in our every day life.....listen to Him about when to pick that battle (and when to not pick that battle).....listen to Him about when to pray for them, how to pray for them,.....and listen to Him about what concepts we should try and communicate (via our few English words, and lots of gestures and facial expressions). I know that He has given me these exact children because in His sovereignty we are exactly who they need....so in our imperfect way we are relying on Him to raise them through us!!!
3. I am more than blessed to have the people that I have in my life!
I have realized in the past few years just how blessed I am! My life has certainly had it's ups and downs circumstantially, but God in His faithfulness has provided me with a wonderful group of friends that truly have become my family! It is because of our friends (and church), that the girls are here with us (God used them to provide a large part of the finances). It is because of our friends we made it through the stress of the year and a half process that lead up to us getting the girls (God used them to counsel, pray, encourage and listen!). It is because of our friends that our girls will grow up with a huge extended family of people who love them (God has used them as babysitters, playmates, and my outlet for adult conversation!) I realize how fortunate we are to have these awesome Godly people to walk with us through this journey (and we get to walk with them on their journey), good and bad!
Well those are my thoughts reflections for the last few months. Nothing terribly profound..just where I am! I promise to upload some pictures soon!!!
As I think back over the last year, I have come to a couple of conclusions about our whole adoption process.....so here they are (the condensed version):
1. I need far greater faith than what I have!
No matter where you are in your faith walk with God, you need more! And to be honest, I did not realize just how much more I needed! In fact, I still need more faith each day, to trust that God can do this, that He is doing this, and that He wants to use me to do this (this being....raising these children!) I have had to pray daily for greater faith that only He can give. Faith in Him to give me more faith at times!!!! God has grown my belief in Him throughout the whole waiting process, and since we have been home, He has grown my faith as I learn to trust Him to parent these girls each day!
2. I am completely incompetent when it comes to parenting!
Here's the deal, I have a Master's degree in education (special education) to be exact....so you would think that my confidence level raising kids would be pretty high! After three months of parenting, I have come to realize that there is little within me that is equipped to do this. However, in light of that realization, I have also come to realize the greatness of my God, who can work through me to parent these girls! He loves them infinitely more than I do, and knows all that they need! I am learning to listen to Him in our every day life.....listen to Him about when to pick that battle (and when to not pick that battle).....listen to Him about when to pray for them, how to pray for them,.....and listen to Him about what concepts we should try and communicate (via our few English words, and lots of gestures and facial expressions). I know that He has given me these exact children because in His sovereignty we are exactly who they need....so in our imperfect way we are relying on Him to raise them through us!!!
3. I am more than blessed to have the people that I have in my life!
I have realized in the past few years just how blessed I am! My life has certainly had it's ups and downs circumstantially, but God in His faithfulness has provided me with a wonderful group of friends that truly have become my family! It is because of our friends (and church), that the girls are here with us (God used them to provide a large part of the finances). It is because of our friends we made it through the stress of the year and a half process that lead up to us getting the girls (God used them to counsel, pray, encourage and listen!). It is because of our friends that our girls will grow up with a huge extended family of people who love them (God has used them as babysitters, playmates, and my outlet for adult conversation!) I realize how fortunate we are to have these awesome Godly people to walk with us through this journey (and we get to walk with them on their journey), good and bad!
Well those are my thoughts reflections for the last few months. Nothing terribly profound..just where I am! I promise to upload some pictures soon!!!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The funny things they say!
So besides me, everyone in my house speaks English as their second language....which means....lots of funny things are said daily! Here are a few:
"Pig Up" which means get up
Maya was mad the other day, so I said...."Maya are you mad?" to which she replied with her arms out wide.... "yes, Maya big mad!"
Our friend Joel is Joke, our friend Ray is Flau, our friend Kitty is Kelly, any girl with brown hair whose name they don't remember is either Julie or Ashley, and our friend Chris (we call him Gerlach) is Gerrrrrilla! They call all babies Kaley, and love to say, hello my name is Flau!!!
Maya came home from school one day after having spanish and said to me while I was in the middle of a sentence, "Hola mommy, no English, stop, no English!"
They think it is hilarious to tell each other and both of us to stop, and "obey mommy, obey!" Maya also tells inanimate objects, to stop, and or obey. For instance, if she trips over the table, she tells the table to stop, if the pizza is hot, she points to the pizza and says, "stop.....obey!"
When ever they don't like something, they say, "Layla, this, no I like!", When they do like something they say "This one Maya I love!". If they want to ask you if you like something they say, "Mommy, this you I love?"
Maya's favorite thing to say is "this again, again" whenever she has to do, eat, or watch something more than once. (Usually it is with much frustruation and "big madness!")
They say "talking" with a true NY accent "Tawlking" even though I don't! When Layla is talking quickly she says tawlky, and looky instead of talking and looking!
Their favorite song is of course Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. There is a part of the song (for the 2 people in the world who have not yet heard this super catchy tune) that says ...song was on. So, my girls call it "zong is zong", and every time we get in the car they say, "Mommy zong is zong, zong is zong"!
We typically have lots of people over at least once a week, so last Saturday Layla woke up and said, "Mommy tonight, more friends coming eat!"
Layla desperately wants me or my friend Julie to have a baby. So at dinner one night, she said to Julie and her husband Ray (aka Flau)...."Flau, you working, Julie, you home, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, baby, yeah!" She also said to my friend Anne who was pregnant at the time "come on, doctor, (pointing to Anne's belly) 1-2-3 baby out (pretending to yank the baby from her belly!)
When they want you to "come here", or want you to "come on", they say "come in, come in"!
Hope you enjoyed those....they crack me up! As you can imageing there are lots more, so I will try to update with some new cute sayings in sometime soon!!!
"Pig Up" which means get up
Maya was mad the other day, so I said...."Maya are you mad?" to which she replied with her arms out wide.... "yes, Maya big mad!"
Our friend Joel is Joke, our friend Ray is Flau, our friend Kitty is Kelly, any girl with brown hair whose name they don't remember is either Julie or Ashley, and our friend Chris (we call him Gerlach) is Gerrrrrilla! They call all babies Kaley, and love to say, hello my name is Flau!!!
Maya came home from school one day after having spanish and said to me while I was in the middle of a sentence, "Hola mommy, no English, stop, no English!"
They think it is hilarious to tell each other and both of us to stop, and "obey mommy, obey!" Maya also tells inanimate objects, to stop, and or obey. For instance, if she trips over the table, she tells the table to stop, if the pizza is hot, she points to the pizza and says, "stop.....obey!"
When ever they don't like something, they say, "Layla, this, no I like!", When they do like something they say "This one Maya I love!". If they want to ask you if you like something they say, "Mommy, this you I love?"
Maya's favorite thing to say is "this again, again" whenever she has to do, eat, or watch something more than once. (Usually it is with much frustruation and "big madness!")
They say "talking" with a true NY accent "Tawlking" even though I don't! When Layla is talking quickly she says tawlky, and looky instead of talking and looking!
Their favorite song is of course Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. There is a part of the song (for the 2 people in the world who have not yet heard this super catchy tune) that says ...song was on. So, my girls call it "zong is zong", and every time we get in the car they say, "Mommy zong is zong, zong is zong"!
We typically have lots of people over at least once a week, so last Saturday Layla woke up and said, "Mommy tonight, more friends coming eat!"
Layla desperately wants me or my friend Julie to have a baby. So at dinner one night, she said to Julie and her husband Ray (aka Flau)...."Flau, you working, Julie, you home, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, baby, yeah!" She also said to my friend Anne who was pregnant at the time "come on, doctor, (pointing to Anne's belly) 1-2-3 baby out (pretending to yank the baby from her belly!)
When they want you to "come here", or want you to "come on", they say "come in, come in"!
Hope you enjoyed those....they crack me up! As you can imageing there are lots more, so I will try to update with some new cute sayings in sometime soon!!!
Some family photos!
Our friend Daniel took some pics for us when Esteban's family was here. Here are a few great ones!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Life as we now know it!
It has been a while since I have posted anything, and lots has gone on since the last post! So....here are the highlights and lowlights...the condensed version!
Highlights:
1. School
Both girls love school and are learning a ton! Since I teach, I am fortunate enough to have them at school with me. Our school has been so amazing at helping the girls adjust. We are obviously modifying a lot of the girls work since they don't know English yet, but the other day they both did their math homework completely on their own! They even did some word problems!! (They didn't know what the words said, but they were able to write out the problems the way I do for them and then solve them!) They have both also been able to learn some spelling words each week and have been waking up each day excited to go to school!
2. Food/clothing
So these were our big issues when the girls came home. I am glad to report that we have had very few issues with what they wear and eat. We went through their closet and I asked them "yes" or "no" for each piece of clothing they had. If they said no, Kaley got it...if they said yes it went into their closet. Now....anything I pull out they said yes to.....so they have to wear it! Food had been easier as well, since we are finding more and more things that they like. Some new additions to what they will eat are: steak, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers, Chick-fil-a nuggets, and french fries. They still love most fruits, chips and salsa, pasta, corn, tomatoes and onions. Most of the drama has been limited in these two areas!!
3.Schedule
The girls have been great with their schedule new/fluid schedule! They are great about getting up and ready for school, and then doing their h.w. after school is over. There is usually always something going on during the week, and they are pretty good about going with the flow! They love being around people as well, so that makes it easy for us to bring them anywhere! They are great going to bed, and after a book, prayers and 20 kisses, they fall asleep as soon as we leave the room (and sleep all night without waking up!!)
4. Attachment
The girls are really doing well with this! They love kisses and hugs, playing, and watching movies with us. They are sometimes a little shy and will hide behind us when we go somewhere new, but adjust relatively quickly. They are now okay with going somewhere with just me, or just Esteban. They were able to stay with Esteban's parents for a day, and have been babysat two nights by our friends Ray and Julie. They were a little afraid at first that we weren't coming back, but by the second time we did that, they were okay! It definitely feels like we have been together for way longer than 6 weeks!
5. Dance
The girls started dance and they are loving it! They are both taking ballet and jazz. They love watching any dance on t.v./movies, and will dance around the house all day if we let them! (They also enjoy singing all day long!)
Lowlights:
1. Layla's health has been an ongoing thing since we came home. While she acts totally healthy and seems to have no problems, their is still and unexplainable mass in her lung, that we thought might be a result of TB, but doesn't seem to be (her last tests showed that she did not have any active TB). So right now we are waiting to hear back about having to possibly go to Cincinati Children's Hospital to have it removed. We are not sure at this point if that is a certainty, but it is likely that we will have to go! Right now we are praying that God would heal her, and make whatever is in her lung disappear! He is totally capable, and we would love to avoid any further invasive procedures for her sake. She hates doctors and she hates being put to sleep even more. She cries when her sister gets to go to school and she has to go to the doctor. Whatever He chooses to do in this situation, we know it is good, b/c it is given to us by a loving Father who desires good for his children (spiritual good.... not circumstantial "good" by the worlds standards). If you think about it, please pray with us!
2. Language
Not speaking the same language is getting a bit old...and sometimes frustrating! Dealing with behavior and attitudes are difficult when you can't really deal with the heart issues behind them due to a language barrier. While we are getting much better....a lot of things would be easier if we all spoke the same language!
3. Learning to cope with the many "inconveniences"
I never realized how much I clung to my life running smoothly (as determined by my own standards). There are so many things that come up each day that throw things off balance, and it was super frustrating for me! I realized that the reason I was frustrated was because I was being "inconvenienced" and I obviously didn't want to be! How selfish and ridiculous is that? Well.....I am still dealing with it...and trying to trust God everyday as the daily inconveniences occur. I am learning to show grace, and deal with these inconveniences with joy, teachable moments or patience. I feel like I fail more than I don't, (I feel that way about a lot of things lately), but am learning to show myself some grace as well. After all, these children are not my own, neither is this life! God has entrusted them to me for a time, but they are His and He will work in them and through them. I just need to be an accurate representative of Him, His character and His love. While that is impossible for me to do, it is not for the Holy Spirit to do, so I am learning how to be that, by His grace!
That's all for now...I know it is long (sorry :)
Maya....after a long day of school! She doesn't appreciate homework very much!
Highlights:
1. School
Both girls love school and are learning a ton! Since I teach, I am fortunate enough to have them at school with me. Our school has been so amazing at helping the girls adjust. We are obviously modifying a lot of the girls work since they don't know English yet, but the other day they both did their math homework completely on their own! They even did some word problems!! (They didn't know what the words said, but they were able to write out the problems the way I do for them and then solve them!) They have both also been able to learn some spelling words each week and have been waking up each day excited to go to school!
2. Food/clothing
So these were our big issues when the girls came home. I am glad to report that we have had very few issues with what they wear and eat. We went through their closet and I asked them "yes" or "no" for each piece of clothing they had. If they said no, Kaley got it...if they said yes it went into their closet. Now....anything I pull out they said yes to.....so they have to wear it! Food had been easier as well, since we are finding more and more things that they like. Some new additions to what they will eat are: steak, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers, Chick-fil-a nuggets, and french fries. They still love most fruits, chips and salsa, pasta, corn, tomatoes and onions. Most of the drama has been limited in these two areas!!
3.Schedule
The girls have been great with their schedule new/fluid schedule! They are great about getting up and ready for school, and then doing their h.w. after school is over. There is usually always something going on during the week, and they are pretty good about going with the flow! They love being around people as well, so that makes it easy for us to bring them anywhere! They are great going to bed, and after a book, prayers and 20 kisses, they fall asleep as soon as we leave the room (and sleep all night without waking up!!)
4. Attachment
The girls are really doing well with this! They love kisses and hugs, playing, and watching movies with us. They are sometimes a little shy and will hide behind us when we go somewhere new, but adjust relatively quickly. They are now okay with going somewhere with just me, or just Esteban. They were able to stay with Esteban's parents for a day, and have been babysat two nights by our friends Ray and Julie. They were a little afraid at first that we weren't coming back, but by the second time we did that, they were okay! It definitely feels like we have been together for way longer than 6 weeks!
5. Dance
The girls started dance and they are loving it! They are both taking ballet and jazz. They love watching any dance on t.v./movies, and will dance around the house all day if we let them! (They also enjoy singing all day long!)
Lowlights:
1. Layla's health has been an ongoing thing since we came home. While she acts totally healthy and seems to have no problems, their is still and unexplainable mass in her lung, that we thought might be a result of TB, but doesn't seem to be (her last tests showed that she did not have any active TB). So right now we are waiting to hear back about having to possibly go to Cincinati Children's Hospital to have it removed. We are not sure at this point if that is a certainty, but it is likely that we will have to go! Right now we are praying that God would heal her, and make whatever is in her lung disappear! He is totally capable, and we would love to avoid any further invasive procedures for her sake. She hates doctors and she hates being put to sleep even more. She cries when her sister gets to go to school and she has to go to the doctor. Whatever He chooses to do in this situation, we know it is good, b/c it is given to us by a loving Father who desires good for his children (spiritual good.... not circumstantial "good" by the worlds standards). If you think about it, please pray with us!
2. Language
Not speaking the same language is getting a bit old...and sometimes frustrating! Dealing with behavior and attitudes are difficult when you can't really deal with the heart issues behind them due to a language barrier. While we are getting much better....a lot of things would be easier if we all spoke the same language!
3. Learning to cope with the many "inconveniences"
I never realized how much I clung to my life running smoothly (as determined by my own standards). There are so many things that come up each day that throw things off balance, and it was super frustrating for me! I realized that the reason I was frustrated was because I was being "inconvenienced" and I obviously didn't want to be! How selfish and ridiculous is that? Well.....I am still dealing with it...and trying to trust God everyday as the daily inconveniences occur. I am learning to show grace, and deal with these inconveniences with joy, teachable moments or patience. I feel like I fail more than I don't, (I feel that way about a lot of things lately), but am learning to show myself some grace as well. After all, these children are not my own, neither is this life! God has entrusted them to me for a time, but they are His and He will work in them and through them. I just need to be an accurate representative of Him, His character and His love. While that is impossible for me to do, it is not for the Holy Spirit to do, so I am learning how to be that, by His grace!
That's all for now...I know it is long (sorry :)
Here are some pics!
Maya....after a long day of school! She doesn't appreciate homework very much!
The girls playing in the sprinkler.
Layla on her bike!!
The girls and their abuelitos!
The girls (dressed as Fancy Nancy) on Halloween (with a friend!)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
From Esteban
Hey Everyone! I have a lot to post....but very little time to do it! For now, please continue to pray for Layla's health. She needs to do a few more tests to find out some more about what is on her lungs. Right now she is on some meds to prevent the TB from becoming active, but the doctors want to find out if the TB meds they are giving her are necessary, or if it is something else. She seems to be doing well and has been acting quite healthy (not one cough!). We are definitely ready to figure out what is up...and the course of action necessary so that we can do whatever needs to be done to treat her (with as few invasive tests as possible). The girls are doing really well and I will have much more to say and some more pictures soon.....I promise!
For now, Esteban asked me to post this!
For now, Esteban asked me to post this!
Dear friends and family
It has been almost a month since we were able to come back from Ethiopia with our two little (right!!!) girls. I am amazes at the incredible support we have had in the last year and especially in the last couple of weeks. We have gotten food, clothes, calls, money, and lots love. Layla and Maya don’t understand yet what all this means, but we do. I never thought that there would be so many people praying for us, visiting us and sharing God’s love with us. I would like to share a small testimony of this:
When we arrived in Ethiopia, our guide told us the bad news about Layla. Most of you know she has inactive TB. The US government reinterpreted a law where it will be impossible for Layla to travel. Of course you guys know that God did a whole bunch of miracles and we were able to come home. I remember the first night that we were in Ethiopia; after we heard the bad news, I was telling Danielle that everything was going to be ok but when I look back now, I realize that I did not believe God could do a miracle. I look back and I am embarrassed by my attitude. That night, I was overwhelmed, mad and frustrated. Danielle woke up in the middle of the night and we prayed, because neither one of us could sleep! I still get teary eyes when I think about it, because when we prayed I remember actually felling God’s presence for the first time! I knew that God was going to do a miracle, but I did not want to believe. My ego and my sinful self were tired and mad at God. The next couple of days God really changed my attitude. In His grace he allowed me to see His work, and allowed me to hear about the prayers from all over the world. That Thursday night when we found out we could fly back home, I cry again but this time because I was ashamed. God had done so much for us, why I did not believe?
Well I sought forgiveness for a lot that night, but especially for one thought that I had. I never truly believed in prayers like I should have. “Prayer is not magic” is what I used to say to people that wanted God to answer them. Prayer is just a way to talk to God, we cannot expect for God to answer us or give us what we ask for, He is God we are nothing. Well these last couple of weeks I have learned of people in Ecuador taking time out of their schedule and praying for us, people in El Paso (not just family) praying for us, people in Cuba praying for us, people in Columbia, North Carolina, Norway, Ethiopia, and many other friends, family, and people that read our blog. So many people praying and some even fasting for us. Why? I don’t know but I thank God for all of you who did!
Prayer is not magic, but it’s more than just talking with God. We say that we know that, but do we? It amazes me that after all that today I still struggle. It has not been easy, I just don’t believe God and and I am still struggling with that. Now I have two little people, beautiful girls, who we pray with, but there are days that my sinfulness stops me to believe that God is bigger than us, that God can do, and will do miracles. I am breathing today and that is a miracle, Layla and Maya are healthy as they can be, that is a miracle, Danielle loves me still… that is a miracle, God forgave me, He has put my sins as far as the East is from the West, and that is a miracle.
Believe it or not I still struggle, there are days where I forget what God has done, there are days that I still struggle to believe... why? Because allowing God to change me is hard. When I think about that first night in Ethiopia I wish that I had more faith to believe…since we have been back, I still need more faith every day. As I pray with the girls I need to remember that He does miracles still and that His love for me has no limit.
I hope that one day Layla and Maya hear the stories, see the people that prayed for us, and loved us during those hard days. I hope that every time I remember that night in Ethiopia where I was broken because of my unbelief that I am reminded of God’s grace, forgiveness and patience.
I hope that this will remind of you of the power of prayer, God’s forgiveness and grace. I hope that this reminds you that we have a reason to believe Him….He is good! Prayer is not magic, but it is our privelage to see God work through us as we approach Him and His throne of grace.
I want to say thank you to all of those who have prayed, given, loved and been there for us! I am thankful for your lives and your great belief!
Esteban
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